Jecara Rivera-Getting to Where You Want To Be

Jecara Rivera is a Success Strategist, a Jack Canfield  Success Principle Certified Trainer and CEO of Empower You, LLC.  In this episode, Jecara  shares her personal journey from teenage mom who was told she wouldn't succeed to an accomplished speaker, trainer, and coach. Jecara also shares with us her top tips on how to get to from where you are to where you want to be.  

Chapters

• 0:00 Where She Was
• 7:20 Limiting Beliefs
• 9:55 Getting Unstuck
• 18:37 E+R= Your Outcome
• 20:24 Believe In Yourself
• 22:35 Ask For What You Need
• 27:39 Becoming a Coach
• 31:32 Motherhood
• 35:56 Finale

Transcript

Rhonda Coleman Wandel  0:06  

Hello, I'm Rhonda Coleman Wandel and welcome to my podcast where we share our stories to inform, uplift and empower professional women everywhere. On today's episode, I'll be talking to Jakara Rivera. Jakara is a speaker, trainer and coach. And today she'll share how she has successfully traveled the journey of getting from where she was to where she desired to be, and how she teaches others to become the best versions of themselves.

Welcome, Jacara.

jecara rivera  0:40  

Good to be here.

Rhonda Coleman Wandel  0:42  

Yay. I'm so happy to have you on the podcast. I love what you do. And I'm excited to just explore and unpack your journey and then explore tools and tips that you use with your clients and teaching them how to become the best versions of themselves. So, so excited to get into it. So first question. So I know I read on your website that you used to be one place you journey to somewhere much better to can you tell us where that place was, and where you ended up?

jecara rivera  1:22  

Yes, I truly believe that we all live a life of highs and lows. And it's truly a journey, a roller coaster even of life that we go through. So for me, I started this journey really young as a teen parent, it was really a defining time. For me a lot of the things that I went through and the tips that I have that I use for others I learned starting at the early age of 16. And when I say where I was where I want to be that changes over time, you know, once we get to one destination, it changes to yet another as a teenager, I was very social, I loved people, I never met a stranger. And I was so involved in high school and sports, and is around that time around 1516 You start looking around, you started liking boys and boys started liking you and

all that good, right? I had all the love and support of my family and my parents. But I still was looking for more and started getting into dating relationships. And at that time, I had a level of standard of a man that I wanted. And of course, a man you won't find in the halls of the high school. But I thought I found one. The unfortunate part is I let down my standards or I allowed myself to get into a relationship that just wasn't worthwhile. And it wasn't worth all of that I gave toward it. And I had dreams at that time. I knew from from beginning of time I was going to be the seat the first black female CEO of a Fortune 500 company, I love kind of vision, I can see myself and my black power suit with my briefcase and a French roll because you know the French roll with

Rhonda Coleman Wandel  3:12  

French roll beautiful.

jecara rivera  3:14  

See it all. But once I got into this relationship with that, man, I wear this young man, I totally put all those strings of the thigh and I just want it to be in his company. So much so that I was so much into his company that once he got what he wanted from the relationship, and he left me not just leaving the relationship, he left me pregnant. I realized then that I felt then that all my dreams were dashed. I felt that you know what, there's never a way I'm going to be able to get out of this. When you're pregnant in high school, they allow you to go to this class where all the pregnant teens go. And it's they pretty much that looks left to right. There's one out of seven of you are gonna graduate. The rest of you you might make it tonight school. Some of you aren't even going to finish the year off. So I was already labeled that I wasn't going to complete the year. I was devastated. Yeah. Have you ever been devastated? You ever been through some points in life where you're like, This is not going to work out this. Everything I've wanted. Everything I desired is not going to come. I remember going to sleep crying. I mean, tears to the pillowcase was wet. I had to flip my pillowcase over, just so I could continue to go to sleep. But that was a very low time for me. And a lot of folks like how did you get out of that? You know, I speak to my teenagers. I have a mentoring group I speak to and they're like I'm there right now. What do I do? For me? It was my mom. I wrote her a little pitiful letter that was like Mom, I'm so sorry. I'm the worst teenage daughter in the world and I embarrass you I embarrass the family. And it took her a couple of days but she wrote me a letter back and she said she's like baby girl. There is nothing in this world that you could do that would stop me from loving you You,

Rhonda Coleman Wandel  5:00  

I'm gonna cry. I'm gonna cry. I'm so excited about seriously, I'm so excited because motherhood has been like really strong on my heart. And we can talk about that because I've several things you've said that I want to highlight. But the fact that your mom accepted, you didn't judge you, love to you. That's so important, so important to give our children and that's something I've just recently I know that but it's really, really learned that because I've been doing some executive coaching, as we talked about before, but please keep going.

jecara rivera  5:41  

And it was really that conversation for me, in that moment of time that I realized that I can do this. And it wasn't that I truly believed it. It was her belief in me. Sometimes in life, we get to a point where we don't see the role, we don't see the light, but you have to believe in the belief of others, that will help you move on to the next step that can help you propel you into the future that was designed for you. My mom was like, we're not worried about the one and seven, you're going to be that one and seven, as everyone else leaves the school, you're not, you're gonna be the one that continues on. Absolutely. I mean, I totally I graduated high school with honors with a 4.2 GPA, went on to get a college degree, got a master's degree as well started working for a fortune 500 company. And though I'm not the top CEO of the company yet.

Rhonda Coleman Wandel  6:35  

And it was a pause, because there's just too much good stuff. As part of the story, let's talk about it. So when they set you down, that breaks my heart, because I taught high school for 10 years. And so I would never look at a child and tell them where they are not what goal and dream they could not achieve. So society, you know, was giving you a limiting belief. And they were giving it to you as if it were a truth. And there is a difference between a belief and a truth. And your mother recognize that she recognized that a limiting belief can keep you stuck, keep you from getting or achieving your goals. And it's not a truth, it is a falsehood. So can you talk a little bit before we move on to the next part of your story about limiting beliefs, because your mom recognized that and she recognized that acceptance in no judgment was something that everybody deserves, especially her child. And she gave you that she took away that limiting belief, and you had and gave you power and energy to soar. So please, limiting belief versus a truth. Right? Yes, please.

jecara rivera  7:56  

No, it's so true. I think we say that word limiting belief. And some people don't truly understand what that means. It there are times we were speaking about it earlier, the subconscious mind, there are times there are things that we believe that we don't know why we believe that money grows on trees, someone in your past or growing up told you, or money doesn't grow on trees, told you that you have to work hard for money, it can't just come to you or you can't just ask for money, you have to it has to be a grind and a graduate, you know, so what happens is even if we make money, we find the hardest way to make it just because of how we've been grown, we've been groomed to believe if we've been labeled as a child as at risk youth, then we just believe because we've been told that that no matter what I do, other people are gonna see me this way. So sometimes we just start acting it out, we act out what we believe others expect from us. So it's not until we hear those more positive nuances of you are not an at risk youth, right? You might be having some struggles, but we can find and overcome those things. And let's point to the positive to help people really realize their potential. So when something is limiting, if you find yourself in a situation where you want to move forward, and you're you're continued like that level of insanity, you keep doing the same things and getting the same results. You may need to get yourself into coaching or in an environment where you're hearing more positive message where we get out of our inner critic, and in talking negatively about ourselves. And that self talk can definitely hold us back as well. Because we're so used to hearing though I'm bad at math, I've never been good at math. And no matter what you do, no matter how much studying you do, it's like a self fulfilling prophecy. You're walking right into it. So those are limiting beliefs, the things that we believe unconsciously. And we have to open it up, see what it is and then overcome them.

Rhonda Coleman Wandel  9:46  

Yes.

Yes, and so you say we have to open it up. And so I've been and doing some working with an executive coach. And it's a 12 week program that I'm in, and I'm in week eight. And I sought out this coach, because I felt like I was stuck. And I didn't know why it's kind of like I had these heavy dreams of you are in alignment with some of yours, like being a CEO, or being a general counsel. And I just felt like, it's not something I could see. But it was something I could feel I was like, There's something within me, that is keeping me from achieving these goals, like I'm encountering these blocks. And it's, I need to figure out what this is. And so I started to kind of explore blocks of energy, like releasing energy within yourself, I started to kind of explore that, and God or the Universe sent me, Anjali Garg, who's a wonderful executive coach, and to kind of explore look at some of these issues, but I learned, you know, that there were some things in my deep, subconscious mind that formed from childhood that I was carrying into now, that and just some of the revelations that I've had, I'm like, Really, and one that comes to mind is when you were talking about how you lowered your standards, and picked up a guy in high school, that you would not have normally like your, your conscious mind would not have picked him. And so I married young and I did not pick somebody who I was compatible with, just put it that we are no longer married. And so I trace I went back to like, teenage years when you start to like boys and, and want attention from from boys, you know. So 14 years old 12 1314, I started to explore those years. And it took me to a place I was like, oh my god, like, I grew up in a environment or religious faith that was pretty strict. And so I was limited in what I can wear, you know, wear dresses, no makeup, no pants, and that really kind of so when you go into school, you know, you stick out like a sore thumb. Right? You know what I mean? Yes. And we all we all want to be accepted. We all want to be liked. We all want to be a part of something good, right? And so I felt like, you know, because I didn't look as cool like the other girls, and I didn't wear the cool earrings with cool new jeans, you know, that a boy wouldn't like me, you know. And so when I did get attention from a cool guy, I was just like, oh my god, he likes me, like I'm putting my worth and what he thought about me, because I wanted to be accepted. It was a, it was a need that we all have. And so I didn't realize that my self esteem had not developed well, in my teenage years. You know, I didn't realize that I thought, you know, oh, my god, like you said, I got these standards like, no, I'll never, you know, but that's our conscious minds. It's not what's motivating us, it's what's deep within our hearts or souls, you know, that pulls us to the decisions that we make. So I wanted to say that because I connected with that. And, and even more like that need for love and acceptance, although I've resolved it when it comes to men and love and relationships that I have a wonderful husband now. But it can transfer into other things, like being accepted at work. And, you know, kind of creating like that CEO C suite being the cool group, the cool kids, when having impostor syndrome, when it comes to getting a spot in the cool group, you know, all that stuff connected to other stuff. And, and, yeah, so anyway, no,

jecara rivera  14:24  

that's good. You know, just to kind of pull on that thread. For me it was the need for perfection. Like, I'm a recovering perfectionist. And I realized that it was stemmed really from being a teenage mom, I didn't want the labels. I didn't want people to see me as someone who was who needed who was stuck on the system who was and I was really prideful about that like, okay, no, I need to be perfect. I need to let the world see and it was about a performance thing for me. I wanted to see let people see that I perform well and I was 100% You know better as good or even better than my peers. There's whether it be in school or in the workplace. And so that perfectionism, it really drains you because you're you're you don't feel you don't ever feel complete. And when it comes to goal setting and go getting it really it drove me to push myself further than I need to be. I love what in a previous podcast you mentioned, if you don't accomplish anything else, up to this point, you have done enough. And I look back at my life, and I realize why am I struggling so much to be perfect? Who am I trying to impress? And I saw it across the way and I really saw it when my kids got a little older. And they were like, Mom, you're so perfect. You do everything. So right it is it makes me feel like I'm messed up because I don't do things. Well. I'm like, I'm the first person to mess up, I have so many stories, but because of this person that I created to be perfect. I wasn't allowing my true light to show and allow other people's light to shine as well. So yeah, there's a lot the thing that go well, when you're goal driven, and you're you're wanting great performance. But when you get stuck in the cycle of professional perfectionist, it will it can drain yourself as well as guard the other relationships you have in your life. So that was one for me that I saw. And it just spread across all the different areas of my life. And once you recognize it, that limiting belief that you have to be perfect, yes, then you can move on from there because that is one thing that can help you that will allow you to get stuck in life because you're always looking for perfection. And you can never move to the next Oh, because you have to find perfection where you are exactly

Rhonda Coleman Wandel  16:35  

can never find it, you'll never be able to find it, which, like you said just drains your energy. Like if you there's a mark that continues to move, you never reach it Good gracious, who can who can live up to that? Okay, so where were we in the story?

jecara rivera  16:54  

Yes, so one. So one of the things that I tried to remind myself Is it didn't just happen overnight. My mom, she gave me that truth, I started to believe in myself. And we made it work. And I realized it was the it was the family, a family that stays together, right, you know, prays together stays together a family that, you know, continues to walk on the road, I had a great environment of people. So I put myself in the right environment, I stopped going to that class, the pregnant class as the other kids would call it, because they really just kept the bar low. And I knew I needed to be elsewhere. So I got into another group of people that was the beta club, the Honor Society, because I wanted to be around people going to the places I wanted to go, I wanted to, you know, graduate with honors. So I needed to hang around those types of folks. Some of the tips that I give folks, when they're looking at, well, how do I get out of my situation to move on and get great things. Number one, you need to master your thoughts, you have to, and when you master your thoughts, it's really take responsibility of where you are, because it's easy to blame and complain other people. So you have to stay out of the blaming the blame game, take responsibility for as much as you can where you are, so that you can then make the choice to change. Because if you allow other people and a to blame, if you're blaming people, it's always going to be on them before you can move forward. When you decide that it's on me. If it's if it's to be it's up to me take that idea, you can make a choice and a change. And so that's super important. I learned from Jack Canfield, one of my mentors, that E plus r equals O. And that's the events of your life plus, your response equals your outcome. The events can be I was born a black woman in the USA, I can't change that. That's who I was, or who I am. Absolutely, I had a baby at 16. That's what happened. I can't change how you respond to that situation. If I took the response of well, I'm never going to graduate anyway. And I didn't do anything toward moving towards the steps of rowing, my outcome would be dropped, dropped a high school dropout, working a minimum wage job never looking to be any more than that. But what I decided to do was think on the good things, think on what I could be believing the belief of others surround myself with others. And I mastered that thought mastered that belief. And I changed that outcome. I graduated on time with honors and continue that education. Right. So for some it might be a professional career. You were fired from a job or you didn't get that promotion. That's your event. What's going to be your response. What thoughts are you thinking, what are you telling yourself? Well, the vision is in your mind, because that's what you have control over. Once you get control of that, then your outcomes can change but you have to first take 100% responsibility of your life in that situation. So that's that's the tool One is master your thoughts? Right? The The second tip would be believe believe in yourself. That's that self worth, self esteem, self confidence, because that's all you know, one, you can't measure your self worth against someone else's belief in you. I say start there, if you can't have it, you can't see it. And that's what I did. I started to believe in the belief of my mom. And I saw that I could do it, I got into action. And I'm like, this is possible, I can do this. And then there's what I call a belief gap that I think we, we kind of ignore. Sometimes, we have these vision boards, and I love vision boards. But what happens when you do it wrong? Yes, your vision can be so big, that if you truly don't believe you can get there, then it'll just stay on that that poster board hanging up in your closet, or on paper point, I stuck my behind my dresser and it got dusty. And I found it a year later, like, oh, yeah, I'm supposed to be believing in these. It's not possible. But Chuck it down, make your vision a little What can I do in six months, not 10 years from now. Because I can believe the action I can take in six months, it's much harder. And if you don't have that, that belief, it you'll just revert back to those subconscious thinking of it's not possible, I can't do it. That's not for me. See, I told you it was too hard. Like give yourself some grace and make those visions a little short, shorter and time period and span and build your vision board off that. So that are in response. You can say I can get there. This is what my mindset needs to be. These are the goals that I can achieve. Continue to reach those goals. Get those small milestones, that's how you build your self confidence. That's how you build the self esteem. Start with the belief and others and give yourself small milestones to reach. And then you have something to celebrate.

Rhonda Coleman Wandel  21:53  

Yes. Okay. And if you need help out there are in Ronnie Coleman window podcast land with implementing any of these tools called your Cara, she will help you she's a coach, because I'm, like I mentioned before, I'm currently working with a coach. And it's very, very helpful to have somebody guide you through this process and tell you Okay, no, how about you try implementing this tool that way. And to actually help you break down what those little achievable goals are towards your big goal that you actually, you know, believe you can achieve. So it's nice to have help so called Jakara, she'll help you.

jecara rivera  22:40  

And I love that Rhonda, and you just take me to my last point is number three, ask for help. That is so important. And sometimes it is asking for a coach to help you along the way. Sometimes it's just asking a question. I mentor a lot of young women professionals within my company at work. And the thing that they always tell me is I don't want to ask because I don't want to look dumb. I don't want to ask because I don't think I don't want them to think I don't know it. I said but you don't know it. So. Exactly. So we can sit here and pretend you don't know it. And then you're gonna go off and spend all this extra time and energy trying to get the answer that if you just asked the question, it could have taken you up that learning curve so much quicker. So I find that for me, and this is you know, back when I was a single mom, so you know, graduated high school doing well working at a company. And I was at a daycare, which daycare can be just as much as a mortgage. So for those who have kids in daycare, you really understand the problems. I was trying to pay a mortgage, I was trying to pay the daycare, and I was slipping on one, my daycare payments and all the time. And she came by and she's like, well, you know, if you apply for this assistance, they can supplement your daycare. And I'm like, oh, no, don't you worry about that I could catch up on those payments. pride comes before. Yeah, had I waited? It was another maybe two weeks. And she's like, you understand if you're late. This is cause for termination in our program. I was like, okay, look, I got to do something about this. So I went down to the organization in my town applied, and the very next week, they paid half of my daycare bill. And I'm like, Why did I wait so long?

Rhonda Coleman Wandel  24:24  

Belief that accepting help meant that you were less than because that is not true. I can hear my mom telling me while I was going through law school, you know, because I'm listeners if you're listening to my podcast from beginning, you know, I pivoted from education to law. And me and my two children at the time, you know, moved to Chicago so I could switch careers to law school, and wonderful experience. I love it. But my mom she told me once she's like, why don't you let somebody help you? When I was like, Yeah, that's true. It's true.

jecara rivera  25:02  

It's definitely like a four letter word help is a four letter word. It's, we either it really is what we think we're afraid of what other people think typically, I don't want them to see that I need the help, you know, I'm supposed to be able to do it on my own is another thought we'll have a limiting belief that we'll have for it becomes a source of pride is I'm not supposed to ask for help. And it really becomes if you wash it out. And I tell people ask, ask, ask, you need to ask so much that you become an asshole, like whatever you need to do. It does not tell my young lady. It doesn't make you look dumb. It does. Because there's other people in the room has the same question that you do. It helps you go up that learning curve that much faster. And the idea of asking does it make you look less than it makes? And I always tell people great questions. I love people who ask me good questions. Because if you're asking me the same question 15 times that tells me you're not learning. But if you're asking me the next level question, well, what do I do with that? Well, how does that fit in with? That tells me that you're getting the information, and now you're trying to broaden it out. Questions are great. So you need to ask for clarity, you need to ask for help, you need to ask so you don't have any assumptions. So a lot of times, that's what we do, we stick in our own head. Another issue I deal with my clients is they they'll come home and their spouse is angry. And they all of a sudden, is it me? What did I do? But what if it has nothing to do with you? Maybe something happened at work? Maybe a friend didn't return the phone call? But we automatically assume and then we take in all this? You have an internal dialogue? Yeah, you're talking your side and their side and your side? Yes. If you just ask, Hey, hon, something going on something I can help you with? Right? Get the clarity. Yeah, asking questions can can take a lot of this off our shoulders. So

Rhonda Coleman Wandel  26:50  

something you just said. So for instance, like you said, come in, your spouse is upset and you immediately kind of go inward, like it's me something I did. So then you ask, but there are many different ways to look at that person's bad attitude or bad mood, you know, there are other different other reasons that they could be upset. And I think that exercise, if we can learn to first ask the question, well, what would somebody else say about this situation, kind of train ourselves to do that, before going inward? We would save ourselves a lot of energy and pain and heartache. Because there are a million different reasons why this person could be upset or reacting or responding in this way, you know? Agreed. Okay, so next question. So you have taken us through your journey, which is incredible, amazing. And I want to talk about motherhood and a minute after ask you this question, because you were a teen mom, and I'm just gonna say you're a mom earlier than right? Because motherhood is a beautiful thing, a beautiful experience. So I want to I want to talk about that in a sec. But what led you to the Jack Canfield success principle? Program? Like how did you become a trainer? Why did you make that decision?

jecara rivera  28:17  

So for me, at the beginning of my career I was looking at, there's a lot of how to become a leader and how to be a better person. And so got really into the self improvement, self help arena, a younger in my career. And then I came across success principles by Jack Canfield. It's about 60 years. So it's very popular book out now. And that, that genre, and six years, so tips, practical tips on how to go from where you are to where you want to be. And I'm like, wow, I want to be in the C suite. So how do I get there? And then as I was reading the book, I realized I can apply this to my personal life, how can I be a better mother? How can I attract good relationships in my life? How do I, and it was through that process in that book that I was able to dig a little deeper, that's where I learned e plus r equals O. That's where I learned about persistence. And it was wonderful things that I think I had already known. But it was so succinctly put into this book that I was just drawn to it. And it became a source of advice that I could continue to lean back on over the years. I got to a point where I saw the need and other people. And I was looking back at teenagers in my life as my kids were growing up. I really didn't need this to that. I wish I knew this at 12 versus 22 versus 32 versus 42. So I started

Rhonda Coleman Wandel  29:39  

you're sorry that you start giving this stuff to teenagers. I want to help you with that. So we talked about that. Yes, ma'am. was to

jecara rivera  29:46  

build that up, because the sooner you know it, the better if you can, middle school, high schools. We don't have to live through all the drama. Oh, there's a better way to do this. I'm teaching you now. My kids were coming up. I start But teaching it to them. And then I realized, I want to teach this to young professionals to teenagers to groups and organizations and through the Jack Canfield certification program, they certify you not just reading the book, you know, anyone can do that. But now it's, I can now teach not just an hour speech, right? I can do a half day workshop, I can do a full day training in all of the techniques on everything. We're talking about mindset, how to take action, Vision boarding, how do you take responsibility for yourself, not just talking about it, but taking them through real life demonstrations and really thinking it through right there on the spot. So I took that and it became the basis of my coaching and the things that I moved from there. So I decided to become a trainer and a coach through Jack Canfield methodology because of everything that I had done for me. And then what I could see was how it was helping my children as well.

Rhonda Coleman Wandel  30:54  

Yes. Oh, I love that. Yeah, I just floated an idea to a friend. A few weeks ago, I texted her, I was like, Let's do like a workshop. But more like, like a spa. For teenagers, you know, wellness, like meditation and teaching them these principles. We have them for adults, let's do them for teenagers. Because I mean, like you said, I mean, I if I'm learning this wonderful information, I feel like I just have a responsibility to give it to my children. Yeah, because it's so helpful. It just makes their lives much easier.

jecara rivera  31:33  

Totally agree. Yep.

Rhonda Coleman Wandel  31:36  

Cool. So yeah, I was sad. I wanted to go back to this point. So being a mom, being a mom, it's just such a beautiful, beautiful, rewarding experience. And sure, you know, a few are teen, a teenager, maybe it creates more challenges for you. Because there's still some things you want to accomplish. And having children may make that make that a bit of a challenge. But the experience of being a mom is just beautiful. So I dropped my 19 year old off at the airport. after Thanksgiving break, she was going back to school. And then but the night before she was supposed to get her hair done. If you are a black mom. You know what a Solan is. And so this child she loves, like she has beautiful natural hair like and she loves to wear beautiful naturally. But sometimes she wants to get braid extensions. And sometimes, you know, she wants to try out so and see what that looks like. And I'm all about it, like explore Do you see what I tell her? So she made her appointment in advance. She's very responsible, and the stylists had to cancel because their child got sick. And there are two things and me and my daughters have in common. The food's gotta be right. And my hair's got to be right. So if the hair appointment gets cancelled, that is an emergency. She had a meltdown. And she was like, and I was just like, Okay, well, maybe we can do braids, you know, I'm just trying to help her. And then she's like, Well, maybe you could do it. You know? I said, I could, maybe I could, you know, I had calmed her down enough. She released some of that energy around and around, you know, the hair and it came to her that maybe my mom could do it. And so I said, maybe I could. So I went online, YouTube and got a how to video, watched it a couple of times, kind of downloaded it into my brain. We went to got the you know what we needed? And I did it. First time. It was my first time ever. Oh gosh. And she posted it a tick tock about it. And now I'm famous on tick tock. It's got like, for like 600,000 views. Mom coming in clutch. You know, your mom loves you, oh my god, moms are the best. And so I just started kind of thinking about that exploring, like the deep connection that we have with our children and how that just triggers just this deep love within us that that also benefits others, you know, not just our children. And so the morning after that I dropped her off and waiting on her to come give me the thumbs up that her bag is not overweight. And I see a mom I don't know these people at all. And it was a very quick embrace, but I could see hugged her daughter, you know goodbye. And it wasn't like a sad sappy hug. It was just like a normal, give you a hug. But I could feel the love and energy around that embrace and could relate to it and was so grateful that I had had that experience have had that experience for much of my life because I became a mom 23 For the first time, so That's so kind of young, you know, I, I was graduated, had a degree working, you know, blah, blah, blah. But still much of my adult life, I've been a mom, and I just started crying, just and I cried all the way home and they weren't, they weren't sad tears. They were just as my coach says, me allowing myself to be carried away in that love. So motherhood, said all that to say is a beautiful thing. Whether you are 16, or 23, or 43. Beautiful. And I don't think that limiting beliefs should stand in the way of understanding that agree. Yeah. So this has been fun. What? What would you like to leave listeners with today Takara.

jecara rivera  36:03  

Ultimately, my goal is to leave anyone that I speak with, with the idea and the feeling that it's possible, whatever your goals are, whatever, however you define success, it's possible. And if we master our thoughts, if we master the way that we react, and we decrease the blaming and complaining, and just from this point of power that I have, right here, I make a choice and decision that I want different, or more or better, you choose that for yourself. Number two, believe in yourself. And if you can't believe in yourself, surround yourself with people who can encourage and believe in you. Take that run with it. And then thirdly, ask for help. It's not shameful to ask for help. It's not it doesn't make you look bad. When you ask for help. It actually propels you further than you could ever go by learning from other people and asking for what you need. I truly believe with those three things. That's the foundation of how we can move forward. And if we truly do those things is that it is possible and that your past does not determine your destiny. So if you've made mistakes, you failed, you felt like it's never gonna work out for me. Know that right now. I always tell people Okay, that's great. past is the past, what are you doing right now to affect your future. And we talked a little bit about being stuck. And sometimes we get there because of our unconscious minds and what we think we believe our subconscious mind should say, or it might be limiting beliefs that we haven't uncovered yet. Or it could be analysis paralysis. That was mine. I was always trying to do things right be perfect with it that I could never move forward to get unstuck. My quick tip, get into action, whatever the next right step or the next inspired step is do that and lean into it. Take the next step take the net if you have to course correct okay, that wasn't the right way. course correct. And come back and just keep moving forward. Get the help you need and know that you are surrounded by Rhonda myself we're here to encourage you we're your biggest cheerleader, so reach out even if it's just for an encouraging word. So that's what I like to leave listeners as it's possible move forward take action and never stop and never never give up. Beautiful

Rhonda Coleman Wandel  38:22  

beautiful love that love that loved speaking with you today. Thank you so so much. This was beautiful. See you later take care bye.

Unknown Speaker  38:35  

Right